Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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