giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
