If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
