so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
