After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
