So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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