This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
