he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I want her autograph on my taint
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
