Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Congratulations! We have a period
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