I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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