i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
