Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
