i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
