You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
