yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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