i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
