Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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