So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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