How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Randomize
