So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
