Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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