You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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