too bad you live with your parents still
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
ok first of all what the fuck
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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