Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Your cock deserves a montage
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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