mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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