she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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