Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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