people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
