You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The beer is more important than you right now.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
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thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
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You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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