from now on my penis is your penis
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
