I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
