took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
