she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize