And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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