can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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