It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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