and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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