Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
