I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
