I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
