So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
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please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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