So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
