had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
