yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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