All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
