He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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