How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
