I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
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She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
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What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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