Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
