Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
