Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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