a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
