i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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