haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
