rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
