just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I think people are normalizing furries
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
