you would pick up someone in the library
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Bring me that man meat
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
