So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
