He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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