Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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